Today was my first postoperative visit to my doctor after my hysterectomy/gallbladder surgery. My stomach is swollen, I have tiny incisions where they did my gallbladder surgery laproscopically and I have a major incision along my abdomen because they realized the hysterectomy surgery was going to be more complicated than they could do laproscopically. So yeah, my whole abdomen area basically looks like a grand reproduction of a Eurorail map. Needless to say that even though I’ve lost over 10 pounds since my surgery, I’ve gained about 10 inches in the stomach area due to the swelling, etc. Go figure.

Because of the swelling and pain, I can’t wear my jeans and have opted instead for stylish leggings and cute and loose knit sundresses. Thank goodness for Old Navy! I have a quirky but cute sense of style (so I’ve been told), so keeping that part of me is important right now while I heal in order to maintain my self esteem with all that is going on in and on
my body right now. But the loose fitting clothes have one major side affect - I look like I’m about five to six months pregnant. That alone is ironic, right!?!

I have not been cleared to drive my car yet so my friend, Kelly Mills, has been helping me out in that arena, thank goodness. She was my escort to the doctor today. Both of us have the same sort of quirky style – we both love hats, dress very vintage and eclectic, and are cute as hell! She’s 23 and I’m 33… er 37… ok, I’m 45 but I look 33! Also both of us couldn’t be more heterosexual if we tried. She has a wonderful and cute boyfriend named Max. I have… ok, no boyfriend at the moment but I do have a cat, a dog, and huge crushes on George Clooney, Derek Jeter, and Gerard Butler if that helps you get who I am into perspective.

We both sat down together in the waiting room at my doctor’s and thumbed through a Redbook magazine with Faith Hill on the cover, both of us gushing at the clothes, the makeup, etc. We’re girls, that’s what we do! I didn’t think anything of it. My name was called and I, with some pretty good post-op pain but still very secure in my sexuality despite the hysterectomy, waddled to the back for my exam, oblivious to the world around me which was awash in expectant moms waiting to get a snap shot of their growing fetus to hang on their refrigerators or frame over their cubicle at work. Kelly, also oblivious, sat with her Blackberry, sending sweet little love texts to her boyfriend as she waited for me. How cute and precious we both were!

Well, apparently, our cuteness had not gone unnoticed by a pregnant patient in the waiting room who decided she was going to be progressive, open minded and genuinely congratulatory. She leaned over to Kelly and praised our same sex union and gushed over our brave decision to have a child together! Irony has now run amuck. If Jane Austen were alive right now, she’d have a field day with this. Me and Kelly as the apparent poster children for the hipster lesbian couple with a baby on the way - classic! While flattered, you can’t possibly get more ironic than that.

So tonight, Kelly reports that she’s spending some serious quality time by cooking a quiche with her boyfriend, Max, while I’m kicking back with a pain killer (from laughing sooo hard today I actually pulled a stitch) and by watching P.S. I LOVE YOU for the 114th time just to watch Gerard Butler do that stripper thing he does so well! Our men…. Heavy sigh!

Tracy :-*

P.S. I am happy to report that an anonymous expectant mother has now graciously registered us at Baby Gap, Bjorn Shoes, Lowe’s, and the Indigo Girls online store!

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