IT'S POTTY TIME!

Just when I thought our lives couldn’t get any better, faster, or more productive than with products such as The Snuggie (so you don’t have to get out of the blanket to use the remote), 6 second Abs (because we all want to look like Jessica Alba or Matthew McConaughey without all that wasted gym time), and of course the topsy turvy tomato tree (because growing them upright is no fun at all), now comes the ultimate lazy man’s (or woman’s) got to have product – THE POTTY PUTTER.

You get a putting green rug that fits in front of your commode, a mini putter (scaled down because you are putting from a sitting position, mind you), a plastic cup (not to be confused with a specimen cup), two plastic balls (insert your own joke here), and a “Do Not Disturb” sign for the bathroom door (as if the whole family wants to join in on the golfing fun). No really – I can’t make this product up, I’m not that good of a writer and I’m certainly not that smart of an inventor! Need more putting practice but can never find the time. Well, now you have no excuse. Golf game in the crapper? Well, now it truly is! It makes me wonder what other activities we could do to optimize our time on the toilet. Here are just a few:

• The Potty Party – It’s a dance party right in your bathroom. Comes complete with lighted dance floor, preloaded MP3 player, confetti toilet paper, and bartender. Now you can “potty” all the time! Chick to hold your hair back while you puke, sold separately.

• Potty Casino – World Class Casino while you potty! Shoot craps while you crap!

• The Potty Accountant – Now you can do your books and your taxes where it counts – In the toilet!

• Potty Abs – Gotta grunt? Now you can turn those seemingly useless grunts into the tightest abs ever!

• The Potty Grater – Grate your cheese while you cut your cheese!

So now it’s your turn – what potty products do you want for your bathroom?

P.S. Wondering if Tiger Woods has a Potty Putter….