Here in Louisiana we have this thing called the drive-thru daiquiri shack. You can order all kinds of scrumptious frozen concoctions that they will put in a Styrofoam cup that you accept through the window of your car as you drive up! Convenient, huh?

Now I know what you’re thinking – you’ve just received an open alcoholic beverage in your car!!! Isn’t that illegal? Well, technically, no. The thing that makes it “legal” is the thin barrier of Scotch tape restricting the straw from entering the hole on the lid – the so-called daiquiri diaphragm, if you will. And between 4pm and 7pm (2pm and 5pm on Sundays!) they will give you an extra one – FREE!

Well, despite Cajun Daiquiri located only 1 minute from my house, I’m not really a regular daiquiri customer. That is, about 10 months out of the year. But come the day after all-hallows eve, I make up for lost time – EGG NOG DAIQUIRIES FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! I can’t help myself. I become a nogaholic & a nogoisseur.

We have 4 locations with different nog recipes to choose from – all dependent upon my mood, taste, lack of hygiene or fuel availability. Price has little to do with it as I am a lazy single woman with a debit card and overdraft protection.

First is THRIFTY LIQUOR. They sell more than just daiquiris at their drive-thru window, so typically the line is wrapped around the building at five minutes after five p.m. Not a good choice if you are in a hurry to erase a case of the Mondays. Also, you can’t get an extra shot in their blend. But theirs are by far the creamiest and made with brandy. A good choice if you are trying to impress without getting snockered.

Next is CAJUN DAIQUIRI – my go-to nog. It’s a simple little obnoxiously painted shack down the street that they obviously acquired from Ted Kaczynki and added a vinyl porte cochere. Like their name says – they are strictly daiquiris and have a very small selection. Their nog is probably akin to Pabst Blue Ribbon but with $1 extra shots of rum or bourbon, who the heck cares. I can leave my house in my robe and slippers during the “House” marathon on USA and be back home with nog in hand before the Shamwow commercial is done.

DAIQUIRI EXPRESS, in the round building, has some really kick-ass nog. They have an unbelievable selection of daiquiris all year round – literally hundreds of combinations with sweet spinning refreshment lining the wall – a beautiful site to behold if you are a daiquiri devotee. And they always seem to give me an extra double shot every time I come in, which is bonus. Downside – they are in the Wal-Mart parking lot (I try to avoid Wal-Mart parking lots like they were the plague) and they don’t have a Baptist window. You gotta really want it and I must admit, they are worth the effort. Plus, on football game day, you can order a daiquiri at their bar next door.

Finally, there’s TONY’S LIQUOR, which proclaims that they have “THE” World Famous Eggnog Daiquiri. They, too, have no drive-thru and are a little out of the way. This Saturday, I decided to see just how worth the effort what is supposed to be the best nog in town was. Sadly, it was the most expensive and the worst. I wanted to cry. It was supposed to be the coop de grace to my holiday nog-a-thon. Angels were supposed to sing on high as the spicy and sweet mélange hit my finely tuned taste buds. Just one sip of it was supposed to bring peace on earth and goodwill to all men. Unfortunately their nog is the reason we’ve got crazy men trying to stuff explosives in their underwear and count-down calendars to December 21, 2012. Oh, yeah, their nog has brought on the end of days.

But come January 3rd or 4th, when the last of the nog runs out, I will be sucking them down as fast as I can drink them. Only then, when the nog finally runs out, will I gain the courage to call 1-800-NOG-ANON.

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